In the afterglow of the New York Knicks championship parade, Woody Johnson, owner of the New York Jets, called a press conference to announce the future of his team.
“I want to make it clear that the Jets are committed and driven to be there for New York City,” New York Jets owner Woody Johnson said. “And with that in mind I wanted to personally announce that we intend to stay the course we’ve been on since I bought the team and not follow in the path of the New York Knicks. They’ve done enough winning for this beautiful city.”
Johnson, who has only ever had a real job for three months of his life, waxed for another 10 minutes about the importance of hard work and consistency.
“New Yorkers have a clear expectation of what the Jets are supposed to be and we will not stray from that.”
Since going to consecutive AFC title games in 2009 and 2010, the Jets have had one winning season.
Mediocre Madden player, and 2-4 tennis player at Harvard, Brick Johnson took the mic after his father. The unaccomplished youngster then spoke for 23 minutes about the team, what they’ve meant to him in his life, and how seriously he and leadership take pride in staying the course.
“I know better than most how much this city needs the Jets,” Brick said. “Dad is into them too. I love them. I know our fans love them. I learned today you can’t spell jestermaxxing without J-E-T-S. We’re important.”
Jets general manager Darren Mougey and head coach Aaron Glenn were not at the press conference. When reached by BGS, Mougey was silent for a moment before saying “I should have stayed in fucking Denver.”
The Jets open their season on September 13 with a 10-point loss at Tennessee.
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